They are beautiful and they are ridiculous and I want them. These four inch high Givenchy crocodile print beauties are on sale for £865 (sigh). I must remind myself while I stare longingly at them that realistically, if I ever had the unbelievable fortune to wear these magnificent shoes I would a) probably take half an hour to put them on due to all the straps and b) probably severely injure myself due to their constrictive nature and my lack of balance. I think I would be able to suffer through the pain though.

On first look you may think that this is just a very elaborate boxers robe, (is it called a robe or a dressing gown?) but it has nothing to do with boxing. It is Alexander McQueen’s £7360 Hooded Sequin Dress, and it is amazing. Unfortunately I don’t have any award ceremonies or world premieres lined up in the near future, or £7000, but I have never wanted to resemble a spangly over-dressed boxer so much in my life.

This will be the winter of the Snood, well the first winter of the Snood since the 1980s ended anyway. This Cashmere rib- knit Michael Kors number will make you stand out on any wintery street. Sadly it’s £740. I know what you’re thinking, but please do not sacrifice you gas and electricity allowance this winter and buy this Snood instead. It will keep your neck/head area warm but it will not heat your whole house, unfortunately.

I love this Bottega Veneta silver ball pendant and I think it’s because it reminds me of a disco ball. It would perk up any outfit and make anything look edgy and elegant. Look how beautiful the chain is too. And it can be yours for £740. If you buy it though, will you let me borrow it please?

The danger with this Valentino ponyskin hobo bag is that the second I saw it I started thinking of the outfits I own that it would go with… which I decided was all the outfits I own. I think I could even pull this bag off in my pyjamas. The Italian fashion royalty are using it in their current advertising campaign; no surprise there as it’s so eye catching and gorgeous. Guess how much it is… £1500. I honestly don’t know why I even look at these things, it’s just torture.